I've been paying the Cat's Protection League every month for over three years. I only missed two payments and they came around and broke my cat's legs.
Animals garry6291 (158) · 08-01-2026 1821If it grows hair and has milk..its a mammal...like the coconut..
Animals Jimfixeditforme (47) · 26-01-2026 1640I bought a gun because I have a fear of eagles. "You're getting carried away," said my wife. "Not without a fucking fight I'm not," I replied.
Animals Stallion 🥉 🥈 🥉 (397) · 12-12-2025 1032I said to my mate, "Did you know that hamsters die after sex?" "I don't think they do," he replied. "Well, the one I fucked did," I said.
Animals Stallion 🥉 🥈 🥉 (397) · 25-01-2026 1923The teacher called little Johnny to her desk and said, "The essay you wrote about your pet dog is word-for-word the same as your brother's. What do you have to say for yourself?" "Of course it is!" said little Johnny. "It's the same fucking dog!"
Animals garry6291 (158) · 20-01-2026 1359Using only a .22 pistol I survived a grizzly bear attack. My friend, who I shot in the knee, wasn't so lucky.
Animals Stallion 🥉 🥈 🥉 (397) · 18-01-2026 1618My daughter's kitten died, so I got her another one. Now she's got two dead kittens.
Animals Stallion 🥉 🥈 🥉 (397) · 12-01-2026 2037I don't believe that elephants are being poached in Africa. Those niggers don't have pan big enough or any water.
Animals Stallion 🥉 🥈 🥉 (397) · 08-01-2026 1947I'm conducting scientific research regarding men having sex with dogs. If anybody wants me I'll be in my lab.
Animals Stallion 🥉 🥈 🥉 (397) · 21-12-2025 1621I was once bitten on the arse by a German Shepherd, but he apologised afterwards and even introduced me to his dog.
Animals garry6291 (158) · 21-01-2026 1929Cows can walk upstairs but not downstairs. As first discovered by the horny farmer when his wife came home early.
Animals ianwatkins 🥈 (516) · 05-01-2026 1446(A groaner) Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer is being interviewed on a popular chat show. Host: So, Rudolph, do you get along well with the other reindeer? Rudolph: Oh, they're great. We have so much fun together. Except for this one bxtch. She makes my life miserable Host: Really? Care to tell the audience her name? Rudolph: Sure. It's Olive. Host: Olive? Never heard of a reindeer names Olive. We all know Prancer and Dancer, Comet and Vixen... Rudolph: No! It's Olive. She's so nasty they wrote a song about her. Host: Can you sing it? Rudolph: Sure. "Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names...
Animals OkiPaul (25) · 18-12-2025 0846We were in Peru and this strange animal mounted my wife from behind and fucked her up the arse. A Llama? No, she really enjoyed it.
Animals ianwatkins 🥈 (516) · 17-12-2025 1609The T-shirt was originally called the Tyrannosaurus Shirt. Because of the short arms.
Animals Squeaky 🥈 🥉 (160) · 24-12-2025 1548I'm sure my cat's a communist. Keeps going round the house saying "Mao"
Animals madgringo (35) · 12-12-2025 0659