ianwatkins 🥈

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Jokes by ianwatkins 🥈

Score Posted Joke
13 03-12-2025 14:28 Never thought I'd see anything more ironic than a guy in a wheelchair eating a b
10 24-12-2025 05:59 You know it was a good Christmas party when your P45 arrives at your house befor
9 17-12-2025 15:45 Did you know... Black men's semen is more nutritious than white men's? It con
7 30-12-2025 08:18 When I was in high school there was a girl in my class called Bernie. Her full n
7 29-12-2025 02:45 Some people say I'm a bigot but at least I'll admit there are 37 genders. Mal
7 20-12-2025 01:18 So I'm decluttering my house using that one simple rule - if you haven't used it
7 19-12-2025 19:17 At this time of year, spare a thought for those who struggle to put food on the
7 17-12-2025 16:05 Nobody was interested in my carpentry class. Then I offered to teach them how
7 17-12-2025 15:53 Thanks to supergalley for setting up this new site. The old one was about as
7 11-12-2025 19:00 I came up behind my wife and starting feeling her tits, hoping to get lucky.
7 03-12-2025 16:49 My new girlfriend said I should buy her some flowers. I said why spend money
6 04-01-2026 12:35 I got a job as a bellhop in a swanky hotel. On my first day the manager said 'Pl
6 31-12-2025 00:16 Every New Year's Eve I go to the annual Bulimic's Ball. It's always heaving.
6 30-12-2025 01:36 To all those who received a book off me for Christmas: they're due back at the l
6 25-12-2025 01:27 What's red and white and flies through the air on Christmas Eve? Depressed Am
6 24-12-2025 06:24 Did you know Jeremy Corbyn has a tattoo? It's on his lampshade.
6 19-12-2025 19:39 Where's the place that little people create Christmas toys for all the good girl
6 17-12-2025 14:02 Me and the family are going to spend Christmas in Australia and see Bondi Beach'
6 09-12-2025 17:14 What do they sing at woke Christmas parties? We wish that you hadn't said th
6 09-12-2025 14:24 Old? Alone this Christmas? That's society's way of tellng you you're a cu
6 04-12-2025 10:33 This Christmas tree I bought is terrible. I haven't seen this many needles on
5 11-01-2026 14:39 I met an Irish woman last night, she said the English were the real terrorists.
5 07-01-2026 15:02 Absolute Legend - although hopefully he didn't murder anyone
5 31-12-2025 00:26 ITEMS FOR SALE: Garden Gate. No catch. Homeless Man. Still in box. Chee
5 30-12-2025 03:06 To all the blokes that got their girlfriends or wives lingerie for Christmas...
5 30-12-2025 01:34 I just found out that Sir Anthony Hopkins is Welsh. It certainly explains why
5 29-12-2025 01:41 I've created a social media site where adult men can lie about their age and and
5 21-12-2025 09:51 The idea that dressing like a slut will make you get raped is simply untrue.
5 19-12-2025 19:02 The council told me to take my 12-foot high inflatable light-up animatronic Rudo
5 19-12-2025 18:09 Glad to see Kylie enjoying her number 1 at Christmas, and I'll enjoy a number 3
5 17-12-2025 15:59 Say what you like about Vladimir Putin. He's still the best damned Geography
5 17-12-2025 15:19 I asked Emily Blunt out on a date. She said "No, fuck off you ugly cunt."
5 12-12-2025 14:11 Last weekend I took the family to the Lake District. We had a long walk, it rain
5 12-12-2025 13:56 Took the family to the circus last night. When we got home I closed my eyes and
5 12-12-2025 13:07 Adult film actress Bonnie Blue to be deported from Bali. And that, children,
5 09-12-2025 17:22 For Christmas this year my son wants Transformers and my daughter wants a jigsaw
5 06-12-2025 13:17 An alien walks into a bar. He's 9 foot tall, bright green, silver suit, 28 tenta
4 17-01-2026 10:35 Jesus was a carpenter, but he couldn't play any instruments. That's why Karen
4 13-01-2026 16:54 Paul Hardcastle's son has died in a motorcycle accident. He was n-n-n-n-n-n-n
4 13-01-2026 14:32 The Red Arrows have got their first woman leader. What colour will they be th
4 11-01-2026 14:55 I fancied a wank but I couldn't be bothered using a VPN to access a porn site.
4 08-01-2026 21:58 Funny how when it snows the 'homeless' myseriously find a bed for the night.
4 05-01-2026 14:46 Cows can walk upstairs but not downstairs. As first discovered by the horny f
4 04-01-2026 13:02 When doing dry January it's important to find ways to replace alcohol in your li
4 04-01-2026 12:20 My sister just gave birth but sadly the baby has Down's Syndrome. I told her
4 30-12-2025 02:35 I can't be arsed taking down all the Christmas decorations so I'm thinking of co
4 29-12-2025 01:44 Over Christmas I've been waking up at 7pm, wanking 8 times a day, eating cold be
4 17-12-2025 19:04 What do internet creeps from Yorkshire put on their Christmas tree? t'incel
4 17-12-2025 18:25 On the first day of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me... Fifteen dead Jewwwww
4 17-12-2025 17:18 Playing the piano is quite difficult. I know that because all the cunts who t
4 17-12-2025 16:09 We were in Peru and this strange animal mounted my wife from behind and fucked h
4 17-12-2025 16:00 I never wash my clothes or clean my teeth. It may seem disgusting but accordi
4 14-12-2025 23:05 Why don't Muslims drink alcohol? Because they're already shitfaced.
4 12-12-2025 15:32 We keep warning faggots about AIDS but they just refuse to pay attention. It'
4 12-12-2025 15:02 My grandfather was a very brave man, he flew a Spitfire against the Germans.
4 11-12-2025 23:48 My mum died 10 years ago today. I went on youtube and listened to her funeral so
4 11-12-2025 19:09 The Duchess of Cambridge has been keen to show off her piano skills this Christm
4 11-12-2025 18:44 I took the dog for a walk in the park earlier. It was lunchtime and I could hear
4 04-12-2025 09:33 Spare a thought for all the people who will be homeless this Christmas. Princ
4 04-12-2025 00:11 Just got myself a second hand diver's watch. I'd have had the drowned cunt's
3 26-01-2026 22:00 A poem for Burns' night: There's a certain host of Loose Women Whom I would
3 19-01-2026 08:29 The train in Spain crashed spilling lots of brains, and rupturing many veins...
3 04-01-2026 13:25 Jesy Nelson told her twin babies may 'never walk'. Little Crips?
3 04-01-2026 05:29 I'm proud to say I've never been to bed with an ugly bird. I've woken up with
3 03-01-2026 12:51 Hollywood...
3 03-01-2026 12:31 O Lord, oooh you are so big.
3 03-01-2026 12:23 The Salt Shaker
3 03-01-2026 09:17 George Droyd
3 03-01-2026 00:42 What kind of idiot lights sparklers on champagne bottles then holds them next to
3 01-01-2026 08:03 Antonio Banderas O no, an arse bandit
3 27-12-2025 23:43 It's Saturday night so I was too lazy to cook and had a Rustlers burger. No d
3 25-12-2025 19:43 As you all carry on with your Christmas festivities please spare a thought for t
3 24-12-2025 06:27 Why did the Japanese boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a building
3 17-12-2025 18:15 Election Issues: People say we need more police officers. Sarah Everard's fam
3 17-12-2025 17:52 William H. Macy is a great actor. Like in Fargo he really had me convinced he
3 12-12-2025 15:28 As I've gotten older, every year I need stranger and weirder porn to jerk off to
3 04-12-2025 10:43 When it comes to Christmas cookery shows Delia Smith pisses all over Nigella Law
3 04-12-2025 10:17 Just saw my first Christmas jumper. He leapt off the multi-storey car park.
3 03-12-2025 17:14 BBC News: King Charles welcomes German president on state visit. He said "Did
2 15-01-2026 14:59 From the next Prime Minister, Cheers Nige!
2 08-01-2026 02:17 Dry Jan
2 06-01-2026 15:44 Maybe it's the tattoos
2 03-01-2026 10:37 Do Robots Have Nuts? Guy teaching robot martial arts manages to kick himself
2 03-01-2026 09:10 Dry January
2 25-12-2025 22:38 Woman in her 80s murdered in Devizes. ...did she have melons of two different
2 25-12-2025 19:00 Now that all the Christmas presents are unwrapped it's time for the next traditi
2 23-12-2025 23:35 Went to the Christmas party with an ugly sweater. aka my girlfriend.
2 23-12-2025 23:00 I've just moved to a new neighbourhood so I've been to every single house in a h
2 17-12-2025 15:39 Naveed Akram is innocent until proven guilty. However I think it will be a Ka
2 12-12-2025 09:50 "Taylor Swift reveals moment she broke down over Southport attack in new documen
2 09-12-2025 16:49 After getting detained in Israel this year, surely Greta Thunberg deserves a lum
2 06-12-2025 15:46 I just finished watching "100 Greatest Sexy Moments" on Channel 4, what a load o
2 04-12-2025 09:02 Every year for Christmas my grandma buys me big black vibrating anal toys. We
2 03-12-2025 19:05 I'm glad to see King Charles hosting a state visit with Germany's president.
2 03-12-2025 18:46 During the cold weather the fire service have advised not to plug electric heate
1 07-12-2025 12:35 Just went to the off-licence and the guy behind the counter wished me a Merry Ch